This is the 1st major article I wrote on a website. This is basically how my writing career began. It went from a short, almost antagonistic piece that no one would even consider publishing, all the way to what it has become today. I have published this on at least 2 or more sites. I will occasionally add to it, if warranted.
What does BISEXUAL mean to you?
Some claim it to mean,
REJECTED by both.
Let us examine this theory together
I will examine this rejection theory and attempt to conclude, if that's even possible. As we progress and evolve together, there seems to be less of a line, or as you may call it, binary. Our sexuality is, as some call it, fluid. So it will be difficult to come up with an absolute, but as I scrutinize this, I will also cite articles to back myself up.
Are you ready to dive in and get the answer?
We shall begin.
We, BISEXUALS, are friendly and accepting people. We always respect your sexuality and your natural given attractions to others.
Why can't some of you accept and respect ours?
It hurt me when I came across two profiles on a dating site that were discriminatory against us BISEXUALS. What made me even more perplexed, is that while we BISEXUALS love BOTH, most of society are rejects us the most!!
What really blew me away was that one profile I saw was actually from a BISEXUAL woman!
So now, OUR OWN kind even hates us?
If that's the case, how are we going to find anyone at all?
Yes, we love BOTH of you!
But most people only love HALF the population!
Gays love one half
&
Straight people love the other half.
We love the entire population,
I do too because,
Let's look at the acronym, LGBT.
Even though we comprise more than half of LGBT, you notice that B is not the first letter, but comes in as the 3rd letter, and we also are the most discriminated against, by none other than, homosexuals themselves!
Whether male or female, they are still against us, BISEXUALS. I thought at least my homo brothers and sisters were with us. Samantha Allen asks, "are bisexual people shut out of the LGBT club? while referencing the Journal of BISEXUALITY. (JoB.)
She states, "BISEXUALS face twice the discrimination as our gay peers." This really makes me feel like we BISEXUALS don't belong in any society, with anyone!
I would really like to get a better understanding of the way some people think of us. We are so loving, yet we are the ones that get rejected the most. I just don't understand why you can't accept us for who we are. Allen proves my point, "the discrimination we face within the LGBT community is as real as discrimination we face outside of it".
The below video speaks about the discrimination we face from Lesbians AND gays while touching on LGBT organizations not helping BISEXUALS in time of need.
I thought we are all supposed to be accepting of each other for our differences.
How would you feel being rejected?
So can you find it in your hearts to love us?
If you are BISEXUAL, tell me what you think when Allen references the JoB quoting, "745 people surveyed & found that the bi-phobia experienced from the homo segment was disturbingly comparable to what they had experienced from the hetero segment."
This is because,
"BISEXUALS experience monosexism, the privileging of sexual attraction to one sex or gender, from heterosexual, gay, and lesbian communities", the study concluded
It stands to reason why we BISEXUALS have some of the worst mental illness and negative effects in the LGBT community, including suicide.
There is no doubt about it when,
"BISEXUAL men are 6.3 times more likely to consider death by suicide than straight men.
AND
BISEXUAL women are 5.9 times more likely to consider death by suicide than straight women." in yet another study concluded.
,
Am I making too much out of this?
Well, let me enlighten you about the experience I had at Paris when I went to get "sex tips for straight women from a gay man" there.
The gay man asked who in the audience was gay.
Then he asked about the straights.
Guess who he didn't even consider!
That's right, us BISEXUALS!
This is the phenomenon known as Bi-erasure.
So, once again, we all were erased!
I would just love to know what some people think of us, so I can get a better understanding of how others may think we are so abnormal.
Imagine if I were to state that I dislike or don't accept a particular race, or group.
Let's say, if I called transgender people, "freaks,"
would I be correct or accepting?
Not on your life!
They would look at me at as a racist or bigot!
But if there are some who hate us just for LOVING BOTH,
we are just supposed to be impervious to discrimination from both sides?
The Heteros are not the only ones who discriminate. As I showed earlier, the homos are also discriminatory towards us.
Here is one example,
when I was conversing with one of them, he actually told me I had to choose!
"You can't be bi, just choose one." he said.
Can you believe that?
I can't love BOTH, but I must choose only one?
Okay, if I must choose, my choice is BOTH!
I always thought our sexuality was not a choice. It is just a part of who you are as a human being.
Are you actually going to say that you chose to be monosexual, you are homo or hetero?
Obviously not!
You can't choose your sexuality
You can't choose to love tomatoes 1 day, then hate them the next.
It is a NATURAL attraction, not something you can control.
How would you feel if I told you to choose to love BOTH of us?
After all, just
Because don't you forget,
BI is BOTH
AND
BI is BI FAR the BEST!!!
To add salt to the wound, I am in the worst-case scenario, a BISEXUAL man.
After all, for decades, we "BISEXUAL men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease." Allen suggests in her other article. "It's hard to convince people that I exist when they barely see me as human."
Do you know that we exist?
I'm sitting here right in front of you and wrote this article. So we, BISEXUAL men, must exist, otherwise who would have written this?
We "BISEXUAL men, have our very own existence questioned more often," Allen states yet again. Some individuals out there think we are just in the closet waiting to come out, or perhaps we want to remain "half normal."
Why is BISEXUALITY among the women somehow more socially acceptable?
Is it that guys always have that fantasy of getting more than one babe in bed?
Why is there always a double standard for the guys?
Do you see us Bi guys as weak, unmanly?
Before you answer, maybe you should ask, Dr. Chiarolli, when, in her book, she asks about 80 women, and most see us as not only "better fathers and husbands," but also on the list was better "lovers too!"
But wait!
That's not the only article that points this out, Jessica Pan also states this in hers.
She prefers us BI guys over the macho, straight ones.
Listen to her, when she asserts that,
"after being with a BISEXUAL man, I would never go back to being with a heterosexual man in a relationship ever again."
I would allege that we BISEXUAL guys are way better in bed and are much more open, especially when I read that, "Women reported that their BISEXUAL partners would want [them] to explore and have fun sexually—to be open to BDSM, or having another partner outside the relationship." also in her article.
So, on the off chance that you define a man's strength and virility based on the women he has, then we BI guys hope you "macho" ones enjoy "sloppy seconds"
Who is feeling unmanly now?
If you are a BISEXUAL man, and you are the one who is feeling unmanly, READ THIS!
So, women already know we are more open in the bedroom, so the next time you may feel that we BI guys are falling short somehow, listen to your other half, and remember what we learned here today. We BI guys don't care about how society perceives us. We are too busy having a fantastic time with our partners.
We do what we enjoy while also putting our partner's needs first.
Because of the stigma, we BISEXUALS have some of the worst mental illnesses and negative effects in the LGBT community, including suicide.
Lois Shearing also touches on our mental health in her article, when she states,
"Mental health is another area where bisexual people fare worse than our gay and straight peers. In late 2018, UK LGBT advocacy charity Stonewall released a new study showing that 28% of bi women and 18% of bi men had deliberated self-harm in the last year, compared to 14% of lesbians and 8% of gay men."
That is very disturbing.
Please always remember that you are not the only one, there is always someone else in the same boat you are in.
So for instance, if you're BISEXUAL, there are many more of us.
In fact, we are the majority!
Freud even stated that we are ALL, born, innately BISEXUAL, then all of us branch out to the other two orientations.
Keep in mind that there is sexual energy among both of us, guys and gals. Each of us has a beautiful aura about ourselves. Each gender is beautiful, as both the male and female anatomy has its own inherent beauty.
Why do some of you feel that we are so abnormal for loving both of you?
And how do we get a chance to be a part of your life if you don't even give us that chance in the first place?
Judgmental people just don't make any sense to me.
Some people believe that we can't stay loyal or monogamous to one person. Such preconceived beliefs make it nearly impossible for us BISEXUALS to even find a partner creating yet another obstacle faced when we attempt to court a prospective SO.
For instance, when I told my BF when I first met him,
he retorted back,
"Oh, Chris, I don't want you to be BISEXUAL!"
Madeleine Holden, in her article The women who go wild for bisexual guys, proves my point that most of you believe we are greedy or can't be loyal,
"Both are more likely to experience anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts than straight and gay people, a phenomenon attributed to the “double discrimination” that comes with being not quite welcome in either the straight or gay communities. Similarly, straight, lesbian and gay individuals are generally less willing to be in a relationship with bi people, leading to a kind of paradox: Bisexuality is viewed as a hedonistic, choice-fueled, all-you-can-eat sexuality, but bisexual people are left feeling like they’re not really wanted by anyone."
We love BOTH,
yet BOTH reject us.
So can the theory "Rejected by BOTH" be true?
What are we BISEXUALS to do, to convince you we are worth loving?
One last thing I want to add is what my best friend has to say about how she feels about our bisexual dilemma.
She states,
"It's not as though I would never fool around with a bisexual man. I'm just saying that if I were to actually feel it necessary to go online to look for a partner, I wouldn't want to be with a bisexual man. Because I'm straight, I feel that it would just be leading myself into trouble. It wouldn't be fair to ask a person that is attracted to men as well as women, to not be able to be with men as well. I believe in a monogamous marriage, so I feel that I would prefer to be with someone that could at least be with just one side or the other. Not as if I'm saying that a straight guy wouldn't want to stray to other women, but I feel it is fairer that a bisexual is able to be in a relationship with another that likes the same thing. Openness might be a bit easier."
So there you have it, I thank her for her honesty while she proves the "rejected by both" scenario.
In my case, my BF originally stated he didn't want me, and now you hear from my other friend while she also states it right here that she doesn't want to be with a BISEXUAL man.
So what would I have done if my BF would have rejected me also?
This is exactly the dilemma we face. The very dilemma which pushes people away from us.
Do we,
Be truthful and possibly never have a relationship since they may reject us?
OR
Lie about who we really are, NEVER having an honest or meaningful relationship!
I, however, feel that if we are ever to have a meaningful relationship with anyone, that being dishonest about who we truly are, might be the only option.
I really hope I am wrong!
It is really a dam shame that our sexuality ostracizes us from others as our particular preferences can not be controlled by our "natural" attraction to others.
My ultimate declaration that I want to convey:
I am very proud to be BISEXUAL, but I am not pan-sexual as I am not attracted to every single person in the world. I am attracted to cisgender men and women only.
I, IN NO WAY, agree with Robin Ochs, with her opinion, that there are over two genders (or sexes). If you care to dispute me, then reveal a 3rd or 4th set of genitalia to me.
So I ask you all,
monosexuals, please enlighten me to your way of thinking,
AND
fellow BISEXUALS, please proclaim if you agree with our particular dilemma in which we are unfortunately in, because we love "BOTH".
Love you both,
Christopher "CJ" Jeremiah
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