It was Halloween 2018.
My friend Larry took me to enjoy my very first nude beach experience at "pirate's cove." located in Pismo Beach, California. Before we arrived, I envisioned hundreds of people, as friendly as ever, laying out all over the sand next to the Pacific Ocean.
Well, unfortunately, when we got there it was absolutely NOTHING like I expected.
First, getting there is never easy. Just getting down to the beach from a parking lot high above was the first challenge. A rope was necessary to navigate down a steep incline, in order to even get down to beach level. When we finally made it to the beach, after letting go of the rope, that out of five people in sight, four of them had clothes on.
Larry, did we come to the right place?
I really felt like asking him.
Now for some reason when I hear "NUDE" I get visions of “no clothes" right?”
Guess not.
I thought I would finally be at a place that I could feel "open and free."
So far, I'm just not getting it yet. The "vibe".
From what I saw so far, there were more clothed bodies than nude ones. As we walked to the spot Larry had picked out, I spotted a couple. The man was lying on his back while the woman was giving him a ‘hand’ if you know what I mean. I’m pretty sure that’s forbidden in public, even at a nude beach.
Arriving at the spot Larry was looking for, we decided to lay down and soak up some sun. I noticed another couple about ten yards away lying on their stomachs. The man closest to me got up, and I saw that both were .....
.....men?
WOW! I certainly misjudged that one!
Because one of them had long hair, I had mistaken him for a woman, but it was becoming clear that there were NO nude women at this beach. At least not that I could spot. Then, to add to my curiosity even more about everything, the man that stood up, put his bathing suit on to go "into"??... the water.
What????
Huh, that makes about as much sense as gettin a burger at KFC!
So, much for my first experience so far. Not that I’m a voyeur, but it would be more comfortable if others were partaking.
The Next day,
I thought I would give the nude beach experience a second go-round.
Maybe yesterday was just a fluke, right?
I arrived earlier than the previous day. I was one of around 10 scattered people on the beach since it wa still early yet. It almost felt like a semi-private beach.
A couple of people were walking by me on a stroll.
They were clothed.
Surprise!
There was another couple further down the beach.
A man and a woman.
He was nude.
She wasn’t.
I mean, why should she be?
its just a "ALL men" nude?....beach
I think it is anyway, isn't it?
I was really doubting it at this point
She, too, was helping give her man a ‘hand’ not so discreetly and followed it up with a "mouthy" finish. I am always the very first one to preach that,
nudity isn’t about sex, and it irritated me I was being proved wrong in two instances on two separate days in a row!
The beach was beginning to get crowded, as people were filtering in small packs. At that point, there were approximately five people of fifty that were nude, besides myself. There was one topless woman with her dog, which made me feel better about the fact that I brought my Lil chi, Mimi, with me that day. I was thinking about talking to two men walking by to, maybe, ask them if they understood how this was a NUDE beach. I really wanted to document my entire experience on video, but I knew that would be frowned upon, and is usually strictly forbidden.
But then, I thought sex was too?
I don’t understand why I couldnt video, since everyone covered themselves anyway.
After looking around a bit, I notice the people to my right seemed closer to the age of college kids, just there for a peek-a-boo, perhaps. They were here, obvisously for the wrong reason. No matter though, NO one ever enforces this behavior.
Only the area to the left was actually the nude beach, I was informed later. Even though just a little way from the lot, it has a sign saying, "from this point on"
Then… ....
.....wait for it……
Holy mother of god!
Do my eyes deceive me?
must be imagining this!!
OMG!
There was finally "a woman?" that was fully nude!
I couldn't believe my eyes!
Finally, a woman on this so-called "nude" beach was partaking of the ambiance.
The very first one in two days!
I honestly think I have seen more skin on a regular boring beach.
I discussed this issue on a message board online, and I found out that there is NO beach that requires nudity. You can't own any property on the shoreline at the beach, so the land is public. Being public, nudity can't be required.
Of course not, but clothing can?!?!?!?!
since over 95% of public places MANDATE & ENFORCE clothing!
Only private clubs can and do require nudity in their pools, but even outside their pools, clothing is still optional.
So, what I have concluded & declare now, is this…
There are NO nude beaches ANYWHERE in the USA.
While there should be three options:
clothing required,
clothing optional
and
nude,
the nude ones do NOT even exist!
I declare this as ultimately true, because there are NO beaches whatsoever that REQUIRE a person be nude.
As far as, I understand in Europe, beaches aren’t called “nude beaches,” at all, rather they allow one to be nude at will.
So technically, in America, there are ‘clothing required’ and ‘clothing optional’
Before I close, Just 1 question I ponder,
Trying to be as respectful as possible, I would like to ask you a sincere valid question,
Normally, being the case, men wear shorts to cover their “privates” and go topless since they have nothing to hide….
So, why is it that women go topless instead of bottomless?
There isn’t really much to show on the bottom, while a lot more to see on top.
Doesn’t it seem a bit backwards to you?
It really does to me.
I welcome comments from ALL males, females, nudes, textiles, aliens, etc…….
Thanks for your attention, & of course,
LUV U BOTH,
Christopher
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